“A tidy house, a tidy mind” – Time and again, we have been taught that untidiness is a fault that is best hidden, and we have learned it well.We freeze when an unannounced guest knocks at our door and we have a pile of unfolded laundry on a chair in the corner.

While there’s truth in the fact that clutter can be stressful, there is also a pressure that builds up in trying to keep a tidy home. Especially when it becomes a standard that you’re expected to meet rather than a choice you make. And that’s where the problem begins.

Our homes were meant to be places to rest, relax, and just be. But somewhere along the way, they began to be reflections of our worth. What we own became more just about serving our needs – they came to be symbols of our social status and extensions of our personalities. And managing them well became a measure of our character. We have slowly let ourselves believe that there is a sense of moral superiority in having a perfect home; that a tidy home reflects a tidy life. And for many women, the weight of this expectation runs deep. After all, it is the woman of the household who is complimented on a well-kept home and shamed for one that falls short of perfection.

Social media took it to new heights. Homes are curated, edited, picture-perfect, always. Anything less, and you feel you are not doing enough. While the shame is never spelled out, it is often implied. Unrealistic standards are set and unreasonable aspirations slowly take hold. Pinterest boards and Instagram edits make you believe that color coded boxes can save all your organization problems. But in pursuit of aesthetic perfection, functionality and convenience often gets lost. And before you know it, your

home descends back into chaos and disorder. Because life is larger than a few labelled boxes! The truth is, there’s no right way to be tidy. What looks messy to one, might look comforting to another. Whether you are a new parent drowning in baby things or a retired mom enjoying an empty nest, give your home permission to be imperfect. All it needs to do is hold you and your life. Allow it to be a space that serves you, and not one that you are constantly serving.

Even Marie Kondo, the organization guru, has softened her stance on tidying up. So if you’re looking for permission to ease up, there you go. It’s not defeat, it’s a factoring in of what truly matters – life, joy, and peace.